Andre Hartslief
In many writing situations, authors really battle to get a catching opening line. The full story is practically written but oh, boy, that opening line is as elusive as a white unicorn in a snow-storm. Well let’s play a little game, I give you the amazing opening line and you complete the fictional story in, let’s say, 100-words orf less in the comments section below. It should be dead easy, right?
THE OPENING LINE: “In a spooky and dark forest, he found Eva.”
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Can you write a 100 word story?
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Yes
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No
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This indeed is spooky by all standards Great story
“In a spooky and dark forest, he found Eva.”
But, had Eva also found him. It seemed not, for she was not looking in his direction.
Suddenly, a tree branch fell down onto Eva, and crushed her into the ground.
Finding Eva again, he had now lost her again forever.
John, for that, was this man’s name, rushed over to where Eva lay. He knelt down. He picked up her broken body into his own arms.
He looked into her eyes, still open, and staring into his. Then she blinked, and finally fully died.
“Who had found who”, he thought.
Fabulous! You stuck with the 100-word limit-assignment.
You have all the elements of an intriguing new mystery thriller, your first paragraph, or the teaser ends with a cliffhanger. Eva is dead… “Who, had found who,” he thought. What happened next? what or who made the branch fall? What had Eva been looking at? What were they doing in the “spooky dark forest?
Thanks, Andre.
I was thinking afterwards, that I could have used the word “winked”, instead of “blinked”. It would have added even more intrigue to it, maybe. It would have hinted that she knew what might have been behind this.
The final blink would have provided a final shock factor to John though here, as well, as I put it, so, who knows which word would have been better.
“In a spooky and dark forest, he found Eva.” He knew he would find her there She had lost her pet bear. The both went in search of the bear. They had to take risks. But when it comes to love nothing comes in the way. They combed the entire forest and then at a distance there it was. They slowly made their way throuigh thick and thin. They rested for a while. They did not want the bear to spot them. And finally the rendezvous was complete. Eva petted the bear but it ran away.
They returned dejected but the bear Eva petted was a wild bear as when they returned she found her bear snoozing in her pen. She shivered at the thought that she had petted a wild bear but luckily it did not harm her.
Thank you, Grace, for indulging my 2020 whim! A truly endearing story of love described in slightly over 100 words.
Although unlikely, it is a feasible plot as this is exactly how unpredictably wild animal babies respond. It is also a very “chilling” tale because wild bear mothers don’t take to petting of their cubs.
Eva’s closing statement gives impetus to what might have happened when Eva petted the cub in the forest. An excellent flowing narrative with a twist in the end. Perhaps Eva’s pet bear should have a name, to draw the reader in, even further.
Thanks for reading. Yes naming that pet bear would make the story a bit more endearing.
HERE’S MY 100 WORD STORY:
In a spooky and dark forest, he found Eva, that was the name she gave, as we walked into the lamp-lit strange stone building. “So, you find me attractive,” she asks, removing the bobby pin from her black hair, allowing it to cascade down to her translucent shoulders. I’ve not looked, I mean, yes of course you are… he stammers. “Come, let me show you your room.
The bedroom door slams shut!
There’s a single bed and a nightstand, but no windows! “The door’s locked from outside, silly man,” she laughs as she glides through the solid stone wall.
Now, that’s really a spooky and dark short story.
Now, that’s really a spooky and dark short, short story.