Some of you are aware that I am still sifting through hundreds and hundreds of journals and discovering all sorts of things I didn’t know about my sister. It’s odd how you believe you know someone and then after they are gone and you are sifting through their memories you realize, she was often a stranger to me.
I don’t know what drew her to this person in the first place. I guess it was probably loneliness. It seemed like they were great friends. They talked in some kind of chat or email every day. I had heard her name and knew that my sister was concerned for her family and trying to be helpful.
I am not certain what happened in the end. But her journal said “I just wanted her to stand up for me, instead of saying I’m sorry. She was ashamed of me I suppose. I wish she would have just said that instead of “I’m sorry.”
She wasn’t sorry or she would have done something. Does any of it matter now? Not really. I am still tying up loose ends. Apparently one of our stonemasons has a headstone stored waiting for her best friend to pick it up. As near as I can tell she had it made for the parents of her friend. I pay the storage on it. I guess it is probably time to have them send it back here and see if it can be blasted to use for someone else is need.
Still she died worrying about that friend. I will never understand. I guess it is just who she was and it was meant to be.