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The Plan is Set

All the timing is now set. Tomorrow,  Friday, I need to take my brother to our local doctor for some final testing and instructions. Monday he has open-heart surgery. Two valves need to be replaced,  a double bypass and stints. This is really his own shot at having that last hunt that he wants so much. I am not brave. I am scared. I am afraid. I feel so alone. For the last 22 years, we have lived in this house. His wife passed away here. I simply have fear. I can’t even pretend to bravely go ahead.

He’s been in so much pain and so ill. He wants this so much. I wish this were a simple nightmare and I could wake up and have things different. 

People keep saying have faith. I am not certain I should even have an opinion.  It’s so hard to be brave and supportive when you are full of fear and just want to run and hide. 

I would gladly take his place. I so wish it were me.

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Written by Ghostwriter

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