She’s giving the vibe she’s not interested any more. What should I do?

There could be many reasons the girl you’re interested in is no longer showing you the same enthusiasm. Perhaps texts go unanswered or she is always finding excuses not to go out on dates. You need to get one thing straight. In order to turn this situation around you might have to come up with something truly radical. If you simply chase after her and send ever-desperate messages you will only expedite the demise of your relationship.

Whether you were introduced on a dating website or first met after your paths crossed in your local bar, some couples last the course, others don’t. If you recognize certain symptoms there is every likelihood your own partner has made the unilateral decision your relationship has fallen into the latter category.

What to look out for

It’s only natural for one partner in a relationship to live a busier life than the other, whether they have work commitments or family issues or whatever. But when the excuses start outweighing the moments when she does agree to hook-up, alarm bells should ring.

When you fire off an enthusiastic text to catch-up, where you could once have anticipated an immediate reply do you stare at your phone for hours waiting for a response? What about a lovey-dovey message you take time to compose, topped with her favorite song lyrics you Googled then copy/pasted into the text. Does her reply consist of one line or even just an emoji? Another giveaway is when her phone goes straight to voicemail every time you try and get in touch.

When you finally get through and try arranging a suitable night for meeting in your favorite location, does she always have an excuse ready to drop on you? When you try broaching the subject about anything troubling her, does she swiftly change the subject? Is it all one-way traffic in the sense you are always inquiring after aspects of her life, her job, her family, and friends, while her own interest on your side of things is non-existent?

Face-to-face rebuffal

People can be a lot less communicative over texts or telephone messages for one reason or another. So the acid test is how she reacts when you finally get round to meeting. Does she look bored? When you crack one of those daft jokes which used to make her giggle, does she simply roll her eyes and ask you to stop being so juvenile? When her phone goes, does she quickly mute the call and put the phone away, explaining she’ll call whoever it is back like she always used to when you started going out? Or does she take the call, chatting away far more animatedly with this person than she’s been doing with you? Worse still, does she say nothing and leave you standing while she goes somewhere more private for her conversation?

Most tellingly of all, whenever you try and instigate some tender moments, whether that’s holding hands or pecking her on the cheek, does she squirm and demand you cease pestering her? Do you struggle to recall the last time you actually slept together because it was so long ago?


Despite these symptoms, you need to take into account there could be something deeper going on, some issue she doesn’t want to worry you about. But 9/10 this demeaning attitude indicates she has decided to move on but is reluctant to tell you outright for fear of hurting you. In that case, make it simpler for her: tell her to jog on.


What do you think?

Written by David Elmers

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