I don’t know what to do about anything. That is why I am writing this, letting it out, to try and gain some mental clarity. I don’t want to live like this any more; I need to make a change, but don’t know how to do it, what direction to go in. I live by myself in a very small flat, and I want to move, both to get more living space, and for the companionship – I don’t want to live alone any more. I’ve had so many years of it now and it is horribly isolating and depressing. I am also sick of the town I am living in, which is quite grotty, and certainly not somewhere I ever envisaged settling down!
But where do I go? What do I do? I have a job here in Mitcham which is OK, and I don’t want to give that up, just to move somewhere new. If I go to live in another area, I need a job there to support myself anyway, so I can’t really go without that.
I have been thinking of relocating for some time now but don’t know how to go about it, so I am wondering if maybe I should just hang fire for the moment, and leave it up to Fate and destiny. After all, everything changes eventually anyway. Should I maybe stick with the job and the place I am living until I am in the position where I actually have to make a decision on moving? As that time will certainly come at some point, sooner or later. Might it be best to wait, and let the Universe point me in a certain direction, be guided by that? Although it is frustrating and lonely and I feel that my life is just slipping away, it may be the best course of action at present to simply do nothing, since I can’t actually decide what to do.
I have been putting out some tentative feelers anyway, i.e. looking into jobs in other areas. I need to get a job before I can move anywhere else, so I have to start with that. But I don’t really know which area to look at; all I really know is that I am sick of the one I am in. I have started looking for jobs on the South Coast, but then I worry that might be a bit too distant, and that I would have to start all over again with making friends etc. I don’t really know…..Is the devil you know a better option?
Come on, Universe: I need a helping hand here! I need you to show me the next step. Just the next step, please, and then I will take it from there.