jaylar
When adult children turn their backs on their parents, express a hatred for them, unless there are real grounds that could be presented in a court room, therapy might be useful.
Might, because the child has his ‘whole life’ based on a fiction which he can’t let go.
Parents who are confronted by the hatred of the adult child, who are accused of all sorts of offences they know nothing about, who have their actions misinterpreted or are condemned for imaginary, events need to be aware and strong.
The parent who can say to the adult child; “Alright, you want nothing to do with me, I’ll go,” protects him/her self from further abuse, and gives the child the Pyrrhic victory.
In some cases the child will, on his own, speak to someone gaining therapy. Perhaps, reflection might be enough for them to contemplate the reasons and, perhaps, recognise and admit, their error.
If the adult child moves for reconciliation, the parents are never to mention or discuss the past. Further, they must maintain a scepticism as in many cases this is a ruse to bring the parents back into range.
If the child makes no attempt, then the parents are protect from abuse.
You know this kinda hits home..I’m not saying I’m anything like this but I have confronted my mom for kidnapping me as a child and I grew up without my dad.
As of today my mom and I are very close and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Some children don’t reach any level of understanding. They want to hold their blame.
Yes I do know people like that and it’s very sad. I think we should all forgive.
In many cases a person can not accept responsibility so blames others. It is not that the person accused really did anything, it is that the blamer can not say, It is my fault.
Very sad to know of so much abuse going in in this world.
What is so shocking is when adult children seek to ‘punish’ their parents for imagined faults.
Lack of communication is one of the major causes of breakdowns in all relationships.
In the past, speaking for people of where I come from, children were seen not heard and brought up in an unnatural life of Edwardian-Victorian culture.
It caused a lot of problems both for my parents and us.
More recently, grown children tend to have strange fantasies about the past and unable to take responsibility, blame their parents and seek to punish them.
Yes, elderly abuse is common and often people copy other peoples stories which are not their own and they become believing it is their story too.
When the truth is they are unable to tell what is really bugging them.