You have heard it 1,000 times “actions speak louder than words”. The challenge is that no one really gives you any specific actions that might work. It hard because the same thing doesn’t work for everyone. Hopefully, this will turn into a very interactive subject so we can exchange many ways to show you care and recognize when someone is attempting to show they care.
~There are some interesting ways that are an attempt to show you care and somehow go wildly wrong. I received a Christmas gift. It was a very soft and nice comfortable shirt. I put it on and my husband said, “You need to return that and see if they have a different color. That color just doesn’t look good on you.”
My first reaction was “how dare you!” Thankfully, I kept it to myself and thought for a moment. “Thanks so much for telling me. Will you go with me and help me find a better color for me.”
It turned into a little shopping and a nice dinner out. Giving an honest and helpful opinion showed that he cared.
~Here is another interesting way, apologize! You don’t have to wrong to apologize. “I am sorry you feel that way. Let’s go work on something different.”
“It doesn’t seem like now is a good time to talk, I’m sorry, let’s pick a more convenient time.”
~Surprize! No special occasion it’s just a great day to be alive. I am here to take you and show you some wildlife. If you are willing and have your camera I ready to roll.”
~ Refuse to argue. It is easier than you might think. Here are a couple of phrases that shut it down fairly quickly. “I can’t talk about this right now, it will have to be another time. Or perhaps, “You’re right, I’m wrong, I’m sorry”
~ Get physical. Ask permission, “May I give you a hug?” Offer a handshake. If it’s the right kind of relationship hold a hand. There are 5 simple ways. Now it’s your turn. What suggestions do you have to offer?
Disclaimer: Unless mentioned by name there is no real or inference, referring to anyone on this site, real or fictional.
Now you are getting into the realm of written advice. My dad wrote a note to me in a magazine many years ago. (it is in the front part of the magazine. He kept it, with the note for many years).
Don’t say you are sorry. Mean you are sorry.
Oh, that needs to be hanging on my wall. Taking care of that today.
my dad had a lot of those over the years!
You are right if there is one thing that people usually remember for a long time it is what we have said to them.
The only regrets I really have are some things I said and other things I didn’t say.
In my life, I have nothing to regret but only one thing. The time I left my husband at the hospital never in my wildest dreams thinking I would lose him and when I left he was so agitated and worried about his own problems I knew he would not want me to get maudlin and so I squeezed his hand but I did not say I love you and then the next day he was gone
These are all great things to remember. Our words can have long lasting effects. They cannot be taken back.
Often times just waiting for 10 seconds can sure save a lot of problems.