Making Your Local Pawnbroker Rich(er)

Come live in Thailand, preferably Pattaya, that city of sexy men (70 years old) and sexier ladies (20 years old). When Christmas comes or her birthday, ask her what she wants. If she answers gold, just do it! A necklace or bracelet is fine, even a golden tooth. She will be very happy. Now, wait for a few weeks and ask to see the necklace or bracelet. She will say you have been mean and she has had to pawn it. “Has it gone then?” “No, me pay month.” “Ah, so you are paying a pawn shop to keep your gold?” “Me borrow money. Can…not…eat gold.”

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After paying about twice the value of the present, a crisis will occur, and the pawnbroker won’t be paid. Goodbye Christmas or birthday present! Your local pawnbroker will love you.

This year I refused to buy my Thai lady ear-rings. I told her I hated her pawnbroker. She told me I was mean and bad, but I stuck to my guns. She got money instead of gold. In that way, I appeased her unbitted lusts temporarily and did my local pawn shop a great disservice. Will it close? Of course not. The buses arrive here in Pattaya every day and I am pleased to say they are overflowing with sexy men (70 years old) in search of unsuitable partners (20 years old). These tourists have money to spend and when they leave, there are about twenty new pawnshops prospering where they laid their sad and silly heads. Of course, I do not include myself amongst the sillies. Once upon a time, nine years ago, I was silly, but then I twigged and have never looked back. My proudest boast? I live in an area with only eighteen pawn shops.

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What do you think?

Written by Jonathan Finch

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