jaylar
If someone had popped up during the years, perhaps I or Patrick would have been unfaithful. Maybe he was. I don’t know. We didn’t share feelings or thoughts or ideas beyond what colour to paint the kitchen, or getting new carpets.
We were more brother and sister than husband and wife. We respected each other, we gave each other space, and had a friendly relationship. But never loved each other.
We didn’t try.
Our major effort was spent not getting on each other’s nerves. We set no obstacles in the other’s path. Our decisions were made without emotion or a need to ‘win’.
We both had those painful moments of reflection, when we thought of our beloveds, and were aware of each other’s feelings so as to give space.
When we bought our home we had our separate bedrooms and our reflection spots.
Later, with children around, we could not have separate bedrooms or seem cold to each other. We pushed two single beds together and covered them with one bedspread and seem to share one room.
On occasion, when the children were in bed, I would go to the other room. Putting space between us was howwe survived.
