Being able to ‘fit in’ does not mean becoming a clone, adopting religious/social mores, it means, understanding the people around you.
For example, due to this current hysteria about smoking, a friend of mine put a bunch of white pencils into an empty cigarette box.
As he would get onto an elevator, various persons would start to cough and make choking noises. He would go to the cigarette box, amid protests, take out a pencil, write down; “You Are an Idiot” and show it to one of the coughers.
This is the ‘control’ one gains over others when they comprehend the mentality.
My friend, who didn’t smoke, loved doing this pencil thing because it revealed hypocrisy.