Abusers always say; “She asked for it,” “She wanted it”, to justify his behaviour. He says this because he has written the script and she is conforming to the role.
Once the Victim realises that there was a script, that she did play her part, the important take away is that he got his excuse. He couldn’t act without the excuse.
If she didn’t care, if she didn’t react, he couldn’t perform.
It is not that she blames herself, she understands how his twisted mind works.
Once she gets that ‘key’ and can ‘unlock’ him, she can enter other relationships without the baggage.
For the mistake of not completely analysing, understanding, and excreting the abusive relationship, will have it carried to the next one.
Once one understands how, the ‘next one’ doesn’t happen.