jaylar
Too many victims bounce from one abusive relationship to another as if that is what they deserve or that such relationships are ‘normal.’
This is because having been broken, one is breakfast for other abusers.
If one was in an abusive relationship, be it marriage or employment for three years, it will take three years to get it out of your system.
You can’t rush, you can’t dive into another relationship anything like the first, until that period is up.
You can’t take a similar job, until you have fully excreted the past experience.
If you don’t do this, what happens is that you carry the memories with you, buried inside of your soul. The ‘normality’ of being abused taints the next relationship.
By taking the time to analyse, to see how it happened, you prevent it from happening again.
I felt like I am reading my own story here. I was abused repeatedly and could not stop that for many years. Abused from one doorstep to another. Yes, being treated like a humble doormat everywhere and all the time. I tried to end my life because I could not find a way out of this abuse and repeated abuse. Finally, I felt the comfort of Christ love and I got answers to deal with those abuse. You are correct in saying that we should not let those abusers work in our life repeatedly. There should be someone to stop them.
For many years, I went into shock, panic and unstoppable tears which no one could stop except my death. But I wanted to live because I had not done anything wrong. The only thing I did was being good to all and all the time I was good, they wanted to use me like a doormat and make me a throwaway.
When Jesus came me to, I asked Him, “How long will this continue?”. I was really tired of this mediocrity. The abuse came from my own people and hence I could never get support from others. It went on increasing madly. When there are abusers and attackers sitting inside your home, you find no way.
But then Christ came to me asking for my goodness so that He can use it for His glory. It took time for me to understand that we are glorified in God along with His glory. When I understood this, I started obeying God and was in consent with God. He made me understand that I should leave my past and that He would give me rewards for those abuse that I have gone through.
That is the breakthrough! I can’t take the abuses anymore and I should NOT. I am an honorable child of the Most High God. Let it all be good for His testimony that God is good all the time. No one can love us as Jesus Christ has loved me. He never abused me. He always glorified me and transformed all my abuse into His glory.
Today while writing this comment, I have got a chance to express the long time hidden secret of my life and am feeling so proud of it. Now, no one can take evil benefit of my humbleness.
Thanks for giving me a chance to write a comment here to express it all.
You are very welcome. One of the things is that unless one recognises the abuse and the abuser… things don’t change.
You are so right with your advice. We must deal with our past before we can move forward.
Many people don’t. They say they’ll ‘forget about it’, which doesn’t work, of course, and that is why one becomes a serial victim.