When you open communication with your Ex be aware, as is said before, Abusers and Cheaters NEVER CHANGE.
However, remember, You are no longer in the front line. You’ve been away, you’ve healed and moved on. The only caveat is that You might have forgotten some of the tricks.
When you begin communications with your Ex Don’t ‘start over’. Remember. Spend time going over the abuse or unfaithfulness, and distant the pain. Wallow in it for a minute or so if you must, recalling the punches or the adultery, and then remember it is the PAST.
This person is OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
Distantly relive all the feelings that led to your break up. Do this as if watching a television program, not living it. Don’t find excuses, find explanations.
What you need to be able to do is gain that ‘normal’ relationship where your EX is as significant as a one of those casual acquaintances whose last name you don’t even know, and it’s a ‘hi/bye’ when you see them at the supermarket.