jaylar
When you don’t analyse abuse, when you don’t comprehend what happened, you may choose a path which is self destructive. It is self-destructive because you act with the intention of ‘fixing’ the other person, not in acting in your own benefit.
In a case where two boys were beaten by their father; not to the level of scaring or hospitalisation, but enough for them to feel victims, they grew up with an intention to hurt their father.
When their Grandmother died, leaving them property, they knew nothing of it. Their father strove to inform them. Once he did, the sons, now deep in their thirties, decided to do absolutely nothing to gain that property.
They made no effort because their father was the one who told them about the house and was pushing them to make the steps to gain possession.
After six years of doing nothing, they realised their Uncle had taken control, even before his mother’s death, and had been refurbishing. They learned of this by accident.
It was then, belatedly, they began to take steps to gain possession.
To gain possession of the house their grandmother bequeathed them after their Uncle spent money fixing it, refurbishing it, etc.
It is obvious, even to the non-legal mind, that the delay in trying to gain the property, the ignorance of their Uncle’s expenditure, would effect the transfer.
This kind of behaviour is not abnormal, unfortunately among children who feel they were abused by a parent and will do everything to ‘hurt’ that parent; despite hurting themselves in the process.
It’s is also very very sad. Sometimes I wonder if we do enough for children who are hurting. Do people get involed where you live?
In a number of cases, the children need some counselling. If they don’t get it, if they don’t have the capacity to analyse they will lock themselves into the ‘victim’ box forever.