There is more to verbal abuse than shouting or cursing or insulting. There is the twisting of statements, the emphasis on particular words by the abuser to turn a bland statement into a declaration.
There is no accident or misunderstanding by the Abuser. He knows exactly what he is doing and why, and will NEVER stop.
When you escape you need to go through it to see how it was done so it can never again be accomplished by anyone.
When you analyse you will notice how when he uttered his fallacy, his deliberate reinterpretation, you had paused, you had analysed.
This is how and why abusers are successful. They pass their deliberately calculated dig, and you stop. You stop and consider if their interpretation is possible, if maybe….
When you are out of the relationship and reflec, t you will notice that many things you said were twisted so as to make you doubt yourself. Make you think you were wrong, or have issues, etc.
This is the purpose.
In other words, you were being brain washed. How sad.
All those who suffer abuse, be it parent to child, child to parent, husband to wife… etc. have to be brainwashed to accept the abuse.