jaylar
In many cases of separation a child will select one parent over another. Often, the ‘unchosen’ feels hurt.
The wise unchosen parent will become the chief supporter of the ‘chosen’ one. This will confuse the child and make it seem that the parents s/he is trying to hurt is cheering their ‘opponent.’
When a child makes a deliberate and angry choice, “I want to go to Daddy! I hate you!” They are saying; “I am going to hurt you by selecting my father. The point is to hurt you.”
To hurt the ‘unchosen’ a child will deprive him or herself of benefits that could be gained from the unchosen.
Often the ‘unchosen’ parent has actually been the one who supported the child, the parent who was always there.
By becoming the main supporter of the ‘chosen’ parent; (done after the choice was done and dusted) will make the child regret the choice.
In regret, the child will be far nicer to the unchosen.
The children need guidance for this very reason.
I have found that many children have some attitude towards a parent that when there is a divorce surfaces. Often they want to be with the least responsible.
Yes that is correct, they will play one against the other.
The parents who catch on, step back, and when Bratty says she wants to live with Daddy, Mommy says okay. What Bratty wants is Mommy and Daddy to fight over her.