The Victim who doesn’t analyse past relationships, is likely to destroy future ones by mistake.
If a Victim doesn’t examine and s/he will not catch the differences between the normal person trying to do something nice and the proto-Abuser who needs to control everything.
To make a mistake, to mix up the chap who just wants to do nice things and surprise her with the brute who needs to control her, is life shattering.
To be aware of ‘overlaps’ to know enough to explore, to use strategies to be able to different is only possible after exploring the Abuse, seeing it and how it took place.
And significantly, able to draw lines.