After Abuse – 131

The most important aspect in analysis is not the ‘what’ but the ‘how’. 

 How did you go from being you to being the Victim?

Whether your abuser is a parent, a spouse, a child, a boss, how it was done is what you need to investigate.

How did the Abuser get to hold the handle and you the blade?

Why did you listen, obey, accept?

Sure, when you are a child and don’t know better or how to escape you blame yourself.  As you get older you must investigate how it was done.  

With a spouse it is only when you escape and reflect you get the patterns, you see the how.

With a Boss from Hell you often realise it while you are working and have your reactions, such as unworking and, of course, quitting.

But you have to go through to see how it was done so that it can’t be done again.