I guess, it turns out, ending up homeless is what really saved me. I mean, I know such a thing might sound crazy but, it seems, by running away from the people in my life, is ultimately what gave me the space to think and hash some hard truths out about myself, my family and my mistakes in life.
It turns out, everything I ever believed about myself was a lie and that everything I ever wanted was just on the other side of a very painful difficulty.
All I had to do was get across.
What held me back was everything which I ever held onto from my past. Everyone I ever held onto and everything – was all that stood between me and a few dreams I’ve always had.
That was all.
Just a severe synthetic opioid addiction to overcome and I was free! FREE!
So, on beginning, I had to make sure I could handle the pressures I would encounter getting off the drug, I made sure to purposefully put myself under pressures of various sorts so that any sense of normalcy could be felt.
I’m not talking normal pressure here.
If someone else wore long pants on a hot day, I dressed for Winter. When Winter hit, I slept outside, alone and unguarded (beyond my own personal defenses).
If food was scarce, I considered just fasting. I followed a workout regimen which would make others quit.
I put myself into a personal “Pressure Project,” a la Master Chim on fakebook. (I think it would even do some good for some ladies to follow him. He’s saving you, too.)
I put myself in every discomfort I could and, from there, I finally dropped the consumption of the Synthetic opioids (called “legal”).
From where I was – under pressure – any physical relief would serve as a distraction from the withdrawals.
The pain I put myself in, also served as a distraction. I’ll see you all again, hopefully, tomorrow.
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