Why Me?

This morning in the quiet hours I took a look at a stack of papers in a blue file folder. There was quite a stack and the folder was not labeled. So while the grandkids and rest of the family were sleeping I decided to sort the things in that file. If there were papers that were outdated and had no use the kids could make paper beads. They like to make them and find that they sell well and they can make a little pocket money.

Emotionally I was not prepared to see some of the items I had carefully put in that folder. The first item I came across was something my mom had scrawled on the back of a program. She clearly was not interested in the program because she spent the whole time writing. (Maybe we are more alike than I remember.)

It was written in the early days of a very long and painful illness.  She pondered on paper about why she was having to deal with the pain and if it was because she had to learn something,  or if it was because if she took it someone else was spared or was it so she could be an example for someone who would have to do the same. She worked with those three thoughts and created valid points for all of them. It was kind of like she was searching for a reason.  Then in big bold letters she wrote “MAYBE GOD IS JUST GETTING EVEN”.

My emotion at the moment surprised me. I laughed so hard it brought tears to my eyes.