By the way, the two phrases of the day for me are “I don’t mean to offend but…” and my new all time favorite phrase “you are talking it wrong, out of context or I didn’t mean that.” Communication is a tapestry woven between two people. If one side pulls too hard, the tapestry isn’t going to hang straight. In fact, it is going to look like something that you wouldn’t hang on the wall. Now, there are times when you have to offend someone. I know as a manager there are times I’ve had to tell people that they weren’t effective, adding value or well working out. It is not a fun conversation nor is it one I look forward to; it is just one manager has to have.
In polite interactions and conversations through, we shouldn’t hear that. If someone says hey you hurt my feelings, you should honor that. That way if I ever hurt your feelings, I will honor that as well. It is all part of the concept I have shared before #digitalrude. One of the things I used to do when I was teaching a class of young technologists was told them the three rules. The three rules are quite simply that you pay attention to the world around you.
- The person first, device second. Your phone is a device. The human being sitting, walking or near you is a person.
- Everyone gets phone calls and texts. When you do, excuse yourself (is it all right if I take this? Is it all right if I check this?” But always remember rule one. Person”s” is always first. If the person is talking, don’t take out your phone.
- When in doubt, refer to rule one and rule two. Rinse and repeat!
I cannot tell you how that changes a classroom. It always will change the conversations you have with people. If I know you are invested, so will I be. There isn’t a person I know, that won’t respond to the following phrase with apostive please do response. “I am really sorry I have to take this call.” Picking up the phone and walking away from a conversation, however, will not get a good response.
This isn’t a the way things were, were a better conversation. This is simply a right thing to do, the right way to behave conversation. The digital divide isn’t always about people unable to understand the technology. It is sometimes about people unable to understand #digitialrude behavior!