I haven’t been writing, painting or much of anything really. I have been in turmoil and it’s just hard to do anything. It’s hard to sleep. The energy is burning me and rushing through my body. I have been hearing things and I’m not sure if they are really there. I don’t see my psychiatrist for almost a month, and it’s really hard to get in to see him. I keep movies playing in the living room so there is background noise. I was doing so bad last night my boyfriend stayed home from work today. It’s another sleepless night. I don’t think he can do that again though. I would go to the hospital, but I now there really isn’t anything they can do. I keep smelling strange smells. I can’t think of what to say. It helps a little to write this. At four thirty I will make some coffee if I’m still up.

I think I will try to come up with something to write today. Maybe a quiz. To keep my mind off things. Later when it gets light I think I will go for a walk. I might write something for HubPages, I’m not sure. But I’m not sure I want to write a long article right now. Plus all the topics I’m interested in I want to stay away from right now. Even this has taken me a half hour to write. I am thinking of asking my doctor to move me up to 30 mg of Abilify, or maybe switch to something else. This isn’t working.


What do you think?


Written by riverwild

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