Filled With Laughter

Look around girlie girl, life is not the same. Why are you here? This is not your life anymore, go, get….. find you a life , said God.

How did I get here? I mean…. well, one day I am 21 and laughing and now I`m…. what? Over 50!? But that don`t feel right, the mirror don`t lie said my reflection. Find your smile, not that sad one either.

Oh. Just oh.

Lists, me and my lists. Hand shakes, me and my hand shakes. Irish to Irish. Life giving life, with a list and a hand shake. I don`t even mind the cigarettes. Share a couple secrets, fills better to give them away, shows I am still human, weak an strong, got my laughter back. Connection made.

Giving away a business, with a card, and a jar of jelly from another, one for the past and one is the future.

Standing at the foot of the mountain, looking up where opportunity awaits, thoughts pour in, isn`t that what God was talking about? I just gave it away, I am finally free. My laughter came back.

I listen…. yeah me, hard head, less walls standing blocking happiness and laughter.

“My love, just let it go!” Peter said as we walk hand in hand, playing the game of love. “The past is over, look ahead, stop looking back.”

In the background Hozier singing work song, I sway with the music, such a sweet song. Laughing at Peter and I, picking at each other, A nice night of discovery. He allowed a layer to come off…. sharing pieces of himself.

Now, sitting alone I smile, thinking about my day. I loved this day, one of the best but something is wrong, I can always feel the bad coming…. wanting to stop my laughter.