Marriage is hard work. Whoever said it wasn’t hasn’t been married for long. There will be good times and times so terrible they will make you want to run away.
You won’t always have the love burning and there will come times you will look at your partner and wonder how you ended up with such a stranger.
However, you can have a beautiful, successful marriage. You don’t have the be among the almost 50% of marriages that end up unhappy or in divorce.
Also, while every marriage is different and no one set of rules applies to all, there are some proven secrets that guarantee success which have been handed down over time. Here are some of them:
1. Marry the Right Person
Marry the right person and you are 50% guaranteed of having a happy marriage.
This here simply means marrying that one person that is perfect for you and to determine that most or all of these factors should be in place:
– You both should be compatible.
– Your partner should be someone that brings out the best in you.
– They don’t hold you back.
– You feel satisfied being with and around them.
2. Have Reasonable Expectations
Next, to be happy you’d need to have reasonable expectations of the marriage. You will need to understand and accept the fact that your partner is not perfect and while they might love you, they can’t always be there for you every single minute of the day.
Also, while they might do all within their powers to make the marriage work, in the end they aren’t responsible for your happiness and to expect them to keep you happy 24/7 would be putting way too much pressure on just one person.
3. Re-learn Each Other
Most relationship experts will always say people always put their best foot forward, especially at the start of a relationship.
As the relationship progresses, they become more comfortable and so let more of their real selves show.
This is most times the case in marriage. A few months into the marriage, you wake up one day and realize the man you married is a whole lot different from that great, romantic guy you dated.
There are annoying habits and idiosyncrasies you never noticed while dating but are now driving you crazy.
At this point, you can choose to get frustrated and resentful of the real man or choose to re-learn your partner and fall in love with them all over again.
4. Be Patient and Tolerant
Patience and tolerance will serve you a lot in marriage. Simply put, the kind of patience, understanding, and tolerance you expect from your partner is what you also should give.
5. Treat Your Partner With Respect
The more time you spend with a person, the more familiar you get with them and at this point, its very likely to become over familiar that you no longer treat them with respect.
You should make up your mind to treat your partner with the respect they deserve often, no matter the situation.
6. Make Up Your Mind to Forgive Even Before They Err
Your partner will hurt you (unintentionally most times) as time goes on. So long as they are remorseful and apologize for their wrongs, you should forgive them.
To make it easier for yourself, make up your mind to forgive every wrong before it occurs. This is in no way saying you become a doormat and roll over every time they hurt you. By all means, you should hold them accountable for their actions, especially if it occurs often.
However, holding on to past hurts; not letting go, will make the pain fester and soon you will get to a point where you implode and at that point, the marriage would most likely be irredeemable.
7. Keep Your Romance Burning Often
The fire will die; more often than you’d want. It is therefore both your responsibilities to keep the romance alive in your marriage.
Look for a method that works for you both and stick to it. It could be having a date night once or twice weekly, having regular Skype sessions when you are apart for long, etc.
Whatever you both decide on, be sure you both are committed to and consistent with it and you will find you have a lot more happy moments and a fulfilling marriage generally.