During his adultery you might have created new protocols.
Where there are children, you can’t ruin their lives with sorrow and emptiness and insecurity. You had to put a brave face on it. You put them first.
You took the kids to various venues, inventing particular ‘rituals’ so they don’t ask about Daddy.
For the first, you are focused on them.
You organise sleep-overs at friends and with family to give you time to look about you. You take them to events, get involved in all sorts of fun issues.
You might have done a kind of reorganisation, moving into another room, so when the Cheater dragged in, he didn’t wake you.
And if you are wise, you realise, that woman forged in the fire of his adultery is too valuable to lose.