Most Abusers do the ‘groundwork’ as Deja. She made sure she found someone so disconnected from others that he would not be able to get that ‘second opinion.’
Norman was not as careful. He might have believed he found that lonely weak woman he could abuse forever, but made his errors.
‘Successful’ Abusers are careful in selection and careful to stop before they go too far.
They plan their Abuse as if it is a military campaign, from selecting their victims to subjecting them to the torture, to backing up, to rekindle the affection or respect, before recommencing.
Abusers who have it down pat can have their victims for years and years.
They can cry; “You made me do it!” with tears rolling down their faces.
They can say; “You know I love you more than life!” with exploding emotion.
Those proto-abusers who mess up, will have a list of escapees