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Inside of Myself – 8

After our wedding ceremony, as we entered the reception, as we began our first dance, I was an actress on a stage.  I was perfect.  

No one could ever know that I didn’t love this man as I loved my sister’s boyfriend, who would, at the end of the night, become her fiance.

Perhaps, if I had never seen Maxie, if I had never had the explosion of emotion, I would toss myself into Bob’s life, jumping without a parachute.

I would be one of those women whose man was the center of their being.   Fortunately, I was not.

We went on our honeymoon and I was interested in the place, the people, everything.  I was not one of those women who ‘only had eyes’ for her groom, and wouldn’t see or hear or note, I was completely there, at the resort, living in the moment.  

It was something I’d heard about, this ‘Be Here Now’ thing, this “Mindfulness” .  As I needed not to think about my marriage, my husband, anyone or anything, I was a perfect example.

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Written by Tall Awah

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