A victim of abuse knows that ‘anything I want will be denied’ so either gives the appearance of being neutral or choosing what she doesn’t want.
In this way the Abuser will, if she plays neutral, assume she doesn’t care either way so need not prevent the ‘desire’, or go for what the ‘Victim’ doesn’t want.
A victim of abuse knows how to pretend to like people she doesn’t so that the Abuser will shun them,
In daily life, long after leaving the abuse, this misdirection has a great deal of use.
If you have no intention of going to that function, seem interested.
There is a double ‘get’; those who don’t like you can take ‘credit’ for making sure you are not invited. Those in charge can be warmed by the fact you would have come but…
When you want to leave a group, be it social, political, religious, you need people to ‘drive you out’.
When you seem deeply connected, those who are jealous or power hungry they will force you out. In this way, you didn’t leave, you were chased away.
This works well.