When one leaves an abusive relationship, one must go over every second of it to catch the clues. Abusers always leave clues. It is to simply find them.
For example, the man who has nothing good to say about anyone will have nothing good to say about you.
You are on a date with Bob. Seems like a great guy. Then, he begins to speak and builds up a momentum. It isn’t that he makes a toss away remark, it is that he focuses on his attack. He gets emotional.
Bob is an abuser. This should be the last date with Bob.
In some cases, you’ll find out that John’s previous girl friend left him because he hit her. That means he will hit you.