Some years ago, there was this big discussion at our work place. One of our co-workers, Maude, had been divorced, (as Daniel and I were) and had a daughter, (as Daniel and I had).
There had been custody arguments and Maude, got the daughter.
If Maude didn’t focus on that child to the exclusion of everyone and everything else, daughter would demand to live with her father, shouting; “I hate you!” at her mother.
Unlike me, I didn’t see it as an obligation I had to fulfil or that Gabi had to live with me.
At the age of twelve, daughter had gone to live with her father who had a girlfriend. When he refused to break up with the girlfriend, as daughter demanded, daughter returned to live with Maude.
As is evident, playing Mommy against Daddy was how daughter controlled them.
Until Daddy put girlfriend first.
Maude was seeing someone. Daughter made it clear, either the boy friend goes or she does.
This time Daughter was successful.
Maude broke up with the boyfriend. The boyfriend went on to marry another coworker.
Maude had no one in her life but daughter until, at eighteen she left home.
The discussion centred on whether or not the mother should have broken up with her boyfriend to please her daughter.
I, and others felt she should not have.
I said it, and now I lived it.