Men have always been able to race ahead with their dreams. They can marry, father children, and dump the wife and kids over there until they have time for them.
No one is surprised when Daddy goes off on a business trip for two months and comes back with contracts and success stories. No one says he is a bad Daddy for ‘abandoning’ his family.
Women can not enjoy this ability to focus and commit unless they are alone.
Women with no man, no children, no one to demand attention are the only ones who get ahead. They are the ones who can fully work on a project with no distractions. They can pull all nighters, they can travel, they can be all they want.
Once there is a marriage, the man has to come first, unless there are children who compete with him for attention. And some men, angry and jealous and being second best, finds a woman who doesn’t have rivals for his attention.
In my firm were women like me. Women who felt they had a right to success. Women who put themselves first.
When Brad learned I had a child he pulled back in horror. This is because he believed that dumping love into me would be a waste, for my child would always come first.
I explained to him that I came first, then he, and then Gabi. This is because for some blasphemous reason I believed I had a right to be happy.