Although there are many breakups where the parties separate with a level of respect, maturity, compassion for each other, so that moving from one category to another is streamless, there are those separations which are shattering.
When a break up is shattering, where there is endless emotion, the need to take time, analyse and put it behind you is vital.
Behind is the most difficult position to gain, for there are always tentacles of that past relationship which have to be cut off and suppressed.
Until you can move into a ‘normal’ relationship, that Ex still has power over you. As long as you can’t bear to see him or hear his voice, or read an email, you are not over him.
Many times you carry your ex around with you so that sensitive others know that you are not free, and this, of course, will destroy future relationships.
Being able to get out of the relationship, cut all ties is the first major step, but true freedom comes when you can have a casual, unemotional almost indifferent relationship with your Ex.
The day you can have that normal relationship is the day that is truly your EX.