If you don’t immediately analyse the relationship you have escaped, not only might you repeat it, but you might destroy positive relationships by misinterpretation.
In the previous article I mentioned a situation in which a woman, Abby, had just emerged from an abusive relationship in which her Ex had created jealousy scenarios so as to have a reason to box her.
He would claim she was flirting with someone, and because he loved her so much he couldn’t bear the thought of sharing her, so he ‘over reacted’.
Abby had dealt with this for a time, thinking it was not what it was; that is a mock justification;
“You were flirting with the mechanic!” Punch punch.
“You were flirting with the gardener!” Punch punch.
Simply put, Ex wanted to beat her, so invented an ‘acceptable’ reason.
Had Abby analysed the relationship, she would realise that the ‘flirting’ was a ‘MacGuffin.”