The tragedy is that most people don’t realise they have been a victim of an Abuser until they have escaped. Truly escaped.
To truly escape means that one has removed themselves from the situation, be it a marriage or a job, and has had a period of time, equal to the abuse, to assess.
Assessment is vital.
To be able to spend time going over what happened, piece by piece, examining every aspect in clarity, and understanding it. Understanding what happened, how it happened.
Not blaming yourself, not finding excuses, but appreciating you were a victim and will not be a victim again.
In too many cases this important aspect of assessment is skipped. One runs from a relationship, marriage or job, and dives into another.
This is a mistake.
One must take the same time the relationship existed to excrete the relationship.
To understand what happened and how.