If you have an email relationship with your Ex who is an Abuser, he will determine how many times he writes a month and how many times he responds to your reply.
Many will write their first missive with a few interesting points. You respond. He replies with a sentence. Any further writing from you will NOT be answered.
You notice, from the third month that he writes on the 15th, you answer, he replies, and nothing more until the 15th of next month.
You can play him now.
He CAN NOT answer that second email you write so you can pile it with all sorts of hooks.
The next month, he can not respond to what you wrote. Why? He has to control. And how can he control when he is responding to you?