When a couple grows apart and separates, there needs to be a period of reflection. Not of apportioning blame or fault, but of looking back calmly into who you were, who that other person was, when you married.
You might have been wild or full of idealism, with scant attention to reality. Maybe you were so average and boring. Maybe you believed certain things.
Maybe the other person was your ‘ideal’ or you thought so, and was, crazy in love with the image before you.
But as time passes things change. Perceptions change. You realise the person you married and the person before you are two different people.
Take your time to map the ‘journey’ from the beginning through the middle to the end. What and why and how and when you went from… or your partner went from… to who exists today.
You want to understand how and why you changed or your partner changed. After that, you can have a normal relationship without ever going into a dialectic of whose fault it was, and why and what and how.
Accept that it happened, that the relationship, as it was, is over, and deal with today and tomorrow, letting go of yesterday.
It is very possible that a real friendship can develop.