It is one of most difficult Epiphanies for a parent to gain; that is this grown child is still at the stage of throwing himself on the floor (figuratively) and holding his breath until he turns blue, (again, figuratively) to hurt the parent.
For reasons known to psychiatrists, these middle aged infants gain some sense of ‘power’ by having the parent put him/herself into the position of applicant.
As an example, the middle aged ‘child’ whines to someone that they want a relationship with their mother. They have already performed their manipulation games in their twenties and thirties, which has chased the mother. But he wants a rerun.
This ‘child’ of forty eight wants his mother to call him. He tells someone who tells the mother.
The mother uses the Internet to contact him.
This annoys the child because he wants to keep the mother on the phone until her credit runs out, and now ‘forfeits’ that ‘opportunity’.