Many Abusers use benefits that belong to you as a leash. If you can, get a lawyer to deal with it. If you can’t and need to be anywhere in person with the Abuser, carry someone with you, or have someone call you every ten minutes and have a ‘key word’.
Only if you are an ‘expert’ in the behaviour of your abuser as Emma was, dare you put yourself in his presence.
You don’t cut your own throat and deny yourself benefits to ‘fix’ the Abuser, you plan your itinerary.
Never have to say; “Well I lost $$ because I refused to do what my Ex Abuser demanded.”
This is what s/he wants. S/he wants to be able to say;
“Well I tried. I told my Ex about the $$$$ but s/he refused to listen.”
What you need to understand about an Abuser is that he needs to Control. He needs to pull your strings. The word ‘need’ is not misused. To control you or feel in control is air for them.
Abusers have stepped in ‘to help’ expecting to be turned down.