One of the forms of abuse is verbal.
Verbal Abuse makes you extremely sensitive to criticism and sarcasm. The slightest dig has you leaping to your feet, armed for war.
When you see how it was done, how whatever you say is attacked, regardless of the validity, you become a bit less prickly.
What you have to do is adopt a procedure.
For example, when an abuser says something designed to hurt your feelings one of the best methods is to ignore it.
The abuser may repeat it and if really needing to hurt, make a confrontation. Maybe asks; “What do you have to say about that?”
As bland as you can reply; “About what?”
In many cases the response will be ‘never mind’ or ‘forget it’. And you, Drop it right there.
Some people try to use what they think is humour, and if you have never been verbally abused, you’ll see it as that. If you have been, you can’t. But what you can do, is adopt a very calm distracted manner.
In this way, unless the person repeats it and adds to it, proving he or she is an Abuser, you won’t misinterpret.