In case of Paul and Jack, they have turned into their abusive father.
They try to use his methods on others; even on themselves.
Where their father tried to trick people, so do they. Where he adopted this superior stance, so do they.
There are wives who will not ‘permit’ themselves to eat certain things, go certain places, as if their abusive ex-husband is standing there with a club.
These victims can tell you how they were abused. They can spend hours describing beatings and punishments, yet, those are just words. They never internalised them. Never analysed.
They never looked behind the abuse to appreciate how he tricked them, how he manipulated, never appreciated that many of his words, his attitudes were created to abuse them.
They accept his ‘rules’ and live by them, or deliberately hurt themselves by ‘breaking’ them.
These people continue to live in Abuse although the only one abusing them are themselves.