Trick: Use a person’s name or their title depending on the situation.

Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, believed that using someone’s name was incredibly important. He said that a person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person. A name is the core part of our identity, and so hearing it validates our existence, which makes us much more inclined to feel positive about the person who validated us.

But using a title, or form of address can also have strong effects, according to the “as if principle.” The idea is that if you act like a certain type of person, you will become that person, it’s a bit like a self-fulfilling prophecy. To use this to influence others, you can refer to them as what you want them to be, so they will start thinking of themselves this way. This can be as simple as calling an acquaintance you want to be closer to “friend,” or “mate” whenever you see them or referring to someone you want to work for as “boss.” But be warned: this can come off as very corny.

NOTE: The principle discussed here is in no way prescriptive and is included here for its anecdotal value.