Do You Want To Make Love To A Hundred Different Women In A Week Or Would You Prefer To Eat A Hundred Different Crabs In A Week (For Week Read Day!)?

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Last year I wrote an article entitled “Do You Want To Make Love To A Hundred Different Women In A Week?” and it got so many hits it proved that Shakespeare’s contention that lust is bloody, full of blame, extreme, rude, and etcetera, is not far wrong. This year I want to propose a different dare : How about consuming a hundred crabs in a week or just a mere day?

Last night I was sitting forlorn because my partner had left without taking me to partake of a seafood buffet in Jomtien*. She had grabbed her bag and jumped in the car, saying, “I don’t want you to bore me, Jon.” I was contemplating a lonesome, few hours when she rang me, said she had changed her mind and that I could partake. “Why?” No answer. (Well, obviously, she wasn’t going to pay if boring old me was there.) Between us we ate fifteen crabs, twenty shrimps, cockles, squid, chicken drums, a sumptuous salad, fish balls galore, and other salty dainties, all for ten euros each. It was a massive BBQ buffet with an “Eat as much as you can!” sign thrown in.

So that’s what we did. We ate as much as we could!

Thus, this year, let’s forget about making love to a hundred different women in a week and let’s sing Pattaya’s glory to a different tune. Eat a hundred crabs in a week. Better still, in a day. And on that pleasant note I’ll conclude this post lest I bore you and you side with my partner in excluding me from buffeting. Oh, and for anyone wanting to get to the Pattaya, Jomtien, seafood, BBQ buffet, go down Soi Chaiyapruek to the end, the sea-end, turn left, drive with the sea on your right for about one kilometre, and look for lots of tables and lots of eaters on your left. Or, if you prefer, get in touch with me, and for the price and purchase of one of my “failing to reach the bestsellers’ top one hundred list of books” I’ll give you the name of the restaurant. However, it’s well known that reasonably priced seafood can be found everywhere in abundance, so, as I said before, leave Pattaya’s maidens alone and go for the crabs.