Just Understand

Oh it’s been “a day”. I have not been happy. In fact I have been very distant. Most of the time my husband hardly notices and that is for the best. Today he simply couldn’t let it go. He was trying so hard to fix everything! He wanted to fix breakfast, the house, me, the animals and he wanted to be my hero and make everything okay. He knew everything was not okay, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

Alzheimer’s has a unique way of making communication hard but the feelings come through loud and clear. There is no way to explain them. It’s early onset and today it was here. It was clear to me. I was with him and alone.

Finally he suggested we listen to some of our songs. He gathered his play list.

He knows it is an important one, but he doesn’t completely understand until the end. Then we have to talk about how everything will be okay and he won’t be sad, when he really doesn’t remember me so it will be okay.