I don’t love it when I feel like everything is out of my control. We are all on high alert. When the surgeon calls we have to be ready to make quick adjustments and get to whatever hospital has an operating room open where this surgeon can work. It’s not likely it will happen today, but it could. They are aware he has a bleeder and hopeful they can locate it. To me it feels like every day could be his last. I am watching him fade.
He keeps telling me just to be normal because there is nothing I can do about any of it. Watching someone die is not normal.
I will go buy groceries and get supplies. I will probably cry the entire time I am alone in the car. I am not good at being helpless.
So my goals today are to focus as much as I can on my job. Be packed and ready to do if the call comes in and we have to leave at the drop of a hat.