jaylar
Abusers use different methods at different times to demean a victim.
For example, a husband might send his wife to the shop to buy something, and not specify the brand or type, then insult and belittle her when she brings home ‘the wrong thing’.
Whatever she brings home is the wrong thing. This is set because he didn’t specify exactly what he wanted; i.e. tuna in oil with pepper instead of just saying ” tuna.”
An Abuser might send employees to deal with a particular matter, and not state exactly what he wants them to do. Hence whatever the employee does will gain contempt.
The wife/employee does not realise that the purpose of the activity was to ensure failure to make the Abuser feel more in control.
If the wife said, “What kind of tuna do you want, exactly?” he would say, ‘Forget it!’ because he could get no lift to his ego.
If the employee demanded to know every aspect of the task, the Boss would sneer, “Never mind!” for the purpose would not be fulfilled.
Be alert to these signs.
