The ‘key’ to recognising an abuser is that they perform actions which to the normal mind, cause loss.
For example, if a Boss wanted a particular employee to devote him/herself to a specific job, and solve a tricky problem, why would he resort to insult and attitude, obstacle and discomfort?
It doesn’t make sense.
The normal mind makes an assumption that the perceived negative behaviours of the Boss is because he is nervous, worried, doesn’t know what he is saying. Didn’t mean it…
A litany of excuses are given to excuse the behaviour.
In truth, ‘winning’ for an abuser is demeaning another person. That is the only winning.
If an employee performed magnificently and gained a million dollar contract, that would not be winning for the Abuser, that would be losing.
For hurting another person, making them less, is the Only victory.