During the three days she spent with him, Sara treated Norman as a stranger. She kept distance between them. Norman could not gain the ‘control’he needed and her presence made him feel weak.
As he had misjudged the length of time it would take for her to complete the business, his plans could not be implemented.
By her expressing desire to remain a few days, impelled him to book her flight.
This dichotomy is a key to the Abuser.
He had created his Plan of Abuse to last 7 days. He would start slow and build up. He assumed she would arrive tired and confused in bad humour.
She thwarted this by arriving rested in great humour.
When they went to the first government office she was as charming and happy as if it were a cocktail party. She maintained this at the second office they attended on Tuesday, which meant a procedure he expected to take at least 7 days had been completed in two and a half.
Although she virtually gave him a ‘blank cheque’ so that his abuse plan could be implemented, he, as an abuser, who must always deny his victim what she wants, instantly booked her on a flight leaving early the next morning.
As she was always happy and easy he could not grasp the handle.
She had come and left unscathed. He had failed.