When an abuser has a victim he can inflict the rules and rituals on the victim. When he doesn’t have a victime, he subjects himself to the abuse.
It is vital to comprehend that the Abuser without a victim abuses himself. He forces himself to obey rules and rituals which have no purpose, subjects himself to events from which he receives no benefit, denies himself necessities, all to prove his power.
If one is unfamiliar with Abusive persons one might find their behaviour a bit unusual. Attempts are often made to make sense of the behavior. .
This is where an outsider puts him/herself at risk. By assuming there is a reason, by giving the Abuser a platform to explain, is like going through the door marked ‘Danger’.
When one is familiar with Abusive persons one appreciates he is denying himself something he craves because he can not deny it to another. When he has a victim, he gains liberty.