Perfect with your words (THE FOUR AGREEMENTS – DON MIGUEL RUIZ)

Don Miguel believes that words are the greatest strength of a human being. A good word can lead one to the blue cloud, but a bad word can lead one into the black mud. Words can become “spells” (spells) that haunt people for a lifetime. The author gives an example if a girl hears someone saying she is ugly, she will grow up thinking that she is ugly. No matter how beautiful she is, to be praised by others, deep down she still thinks she’s ugly. Has anyone of us ever been criticized as ignorant, slow, or unintelligent? How does this affect us as adults? Words have terrifying power because they can make us look down on ourselves. If we believe that what others say about us is true, we will remind ourselves over and over again that we are ignorant, slow, and unintelligent. “Karma” continues to spread when we speak ill or talk about others. The author explained that the reason many people like gossiping is that it makes people feel closer to each other, they feel more beautiful, more happy, more considered when they know other people ugly, miserable, not taken seriously. But this is also the source of the pain that makes people suffer while continuing to spread suffering to others.

I have read this first agreement many times but every time I read it was as emotional as the first because it reminded me of the many “curses” I received as a child. “Not good at drawing”, “not good at math”, “not good at English”, “awkward housework”, “only need the diligence to be smart”, “too high / too low”, “too thin / too fat” “… all these words have been my weakness for many years. I used to be afraid of drawing in front of a crowd, I was afraid to do calculations when walking with other people, I could not speak English, restricted cooking for other people used to pretend that I was not working hard … Going to many important opportunities and making me not confident in myself. In recent years, as I have grown up, I have realized that once I don’t care what others think and don’t need to feel the need to prove it to anyone, I gradually “lift” these curses. to do what you want. At the same time, I also avoid participating in gossip, restricting the talking about others behind them and stopping listening to others crap about me. Living and working in a female-centered environment, not gossip can make me seem unapproachable and less “interesting” to some. But for me, that is not the important value of life. I know who I am, whether I live well or not, how it affects people, that’s what matters.