Don’t take anything personally (THE FOUR AGREEMENTS – DON MIGUEL RUIZ)

The author emphasizes that what others say, think, and act comes from their own worldview. Therefore, do not attribute anything, good or bad, to yourself. If someone tells you you’re a failure, don’t blame yourself and don’t need to argue with them because what they think and what you think has a completely different starting point. If someone tells you that you are a successful person, do not attribute that success to yourself. You know you succeed or fail, and don’t need anyone else to prove or deny it. Don Miguel said that if we do not attribute everything to ourselves, we will be “immune” from the words of others, stop blaming ourselves, and be more confident about our decisions.

For me, this is the hardest of the four agreements. It is difficult not to feel offended when you hear others criticizing you. It is very difficult not to blame yourself when others blame you. It is very difficult to stop having illusions about yourself when people flatter themselves. For my study and research, writing is a vital skill. Writing is so important that it becomes my ego and sweet spot. At the beginning when I was just starting to write academic writing, my writing was heavily edited and covered with red marks by the professor or the editor. Each time, although I was grateful for the honest comments, I couldn’t help but think that I could really write, was my English enough to do this job, or did I have to Overestimate my ability or not … After a few years of regular writing and also receive a lot of criticism, I realized that in order to confidently continue writing, I had to separate myself from my product. For example, if the article I submit is underestimated, it doesn’t mean that I’m not capable, it just means that the article is not good. Similarly, a highly rated article does not mean that my ability is better than other people, but only that it satisfies the feelings of the readers at that time. I believe that separating yourself from the work we do can help us recognize the bad or the good of the previous job to correct or develop the next job, but not criticize pettily, or the illusion of your ability.